Every culture and society has its rules of the road for dating. One of those rules of the road in Japan for heterosexual women is the “three C men” (3C男; san-shee otoko).
The three Cs are men who aren’t necessarily dangerous or who ought to be avoided at all costs. But under no circumstances, the rule says, should you consider dating them. Why? The advice says these men are unusually picky and fastidious in ways that spell doom and gloom for your relationship.
To their credit, many of the pieces in Japanese on the three Cs admit that there are men in each category who defy the stereotype. Still, these columnists say, you should proceed with caution and only date such a man if they exhibit behavior that breaks the mold.
Here are the men who fall into this disastrous category:
C-1: Photographer
Japanese: カメラマン (kameraman)
A photographer, the story goes, spend a lot of time around fashion models and is going to have an overly high standard for beauty, which can lead to women feeling nervous or unable to relax around them. Some sites also speculate that, because cameramen are also likely to spend a lot of money on camera equipment, women don’t want to date them because of a perceived difference in how they perceive money.
C-2: Creator
Japanese: クリエーター (kurieetaa)
Again, someone who creates for a living is thought to be someone who’s used to controlling every aspect of what they make. They invoke images (supposedly) of someone who doesn’t easily compromise and is hard to date. They’re also someone who’s going to be highly idiosyncratic and who does things their own way. This all creates the image of someone who won’t value or care for their partner.
C-3: A man who makes curry roux from the spices
Japanese: カレーをスパイスから作る男性 (karee o supaisu kara tsukuru dansei)
There is only one (apparently) acceptable way to make Japanese curry: using store-bought roux block brands, such as House Foods Vermont Curry or S&B Golden Curry. Should you dare to make your own curry roux starting from curry powder, you may find yourself exiled from the category of dateable individuals.
Of all of the rules, this one is the biggest head-scratcher. The other two types, after all, are occupations. And, hey, why shouldn’t you date a man who obviously knows how to cook??
As with the other categories, this trope holds that someone who makes their own curry from scratch is “too fussy” about little things. Additionally, someone who’d throw their time and money away on making curry from scratch is obviously bad with their finances, meaning your future with them is bound to be bleak. (Hey, don’t look at me – I didn’t make these rules up.)
Do women agree?
Of course, you have to take these with a huge grain of salt. Obviously, people in Japan date (and even marry!) photographers, creators, and guys who love to cook all the time.
These categories also change with time. As the Japanese articles cited in this piece note, women used to warn one another against the “three Bs” – Beauticians, Bartenders, and Bandmen.
In a short that “ane-gyaru” magazine Nuts did with some of its models, most seemed fine with dating most of these men – particularly men who make their own curry.
“No, I want someone who makes curry from spices,” one said. “I want someone who’ll show off his attention to detail a little.”
“I think those are better than being a bandman,” another quipped.
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