Finally, Japan has a same-sex TV dating show. The Boyfriend has become an international hit since Netflix released the first episodes earlier this month. Critics say that the show defies all expectations of reality TV. It’s a milestone for Japan, which is in the process of updating its views on gender diversity.
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ToggleThe Boyfriend experience

Japan’s first same-sex dating reality TV show The Boyfriend breaks into the weekly global top 10 non-English TV shows on Netflix. In Japan, where same-sex marriage still remains illegal, it ranks #6.
Netflix, which has 8.1 million subscribers in Japan, began streaming the show in 190 countries on July 9th, releasing six out of ten episodes so far.
The show follows nine gay and bisexual men residing in the “Green Room,” a luxury beach house outside Tokyo. The men take turns (in pairs 💕) running the “Brewtiful” coffee truck during the day, cook dinner at night, and occasionally go on dates.
A panel of five commentators weigh in between clips, evoking the format of Terrace House, Japan’s most popular and drama-ridden reality show.
The reality show that feels real

The men are in a one-month trial to find love, not sex. Unlike popular dating shows like Love Island and Too Hot To Handle, The Boyfriend does not reek of relentless horniness.
More than halfway through, there are zero kisses. Not even bathing naked and massaging each other persuaded a pair to have sex during an overnight date. At most, the men high-five or hug.
While sex and paradise-living take a backseat, friendship and reality drive connections in The Boyfriend. In the absence of physical touch, the men have heart-to-heart conversations on the daily. They part with members who leave the house for days at a time to attend school or work. Two designated “accountants” budget coffee sales for groceries.
In short, The Boyfriend is a reality TV show that is realistic. Sex is not the wrong place to start but hardly suffices for a long-term partnership. And yet, most Western reality dating shows are practically a race to get into bed.
For defying this archetype, reviews say that The Boyfriend is “completely changing the tired, exploitative reality formula” (The Daily Beast), proving to be “the antidote to Love Island” (The Independent).
The cast
The nine men, who range in age from 22 to 36, come from diverse ethnic and professional backgrounds.
Dai, 22, university student from Japan

Taeheon, 34, designer from Korea

Ryota, 28, model and barista from Japan

Gensei, 34, hair and makeup artist from Tawian
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Shun, 23, musical artist from Japan

Kazuto, 27, Japanese cuisine chef from Japan

Usak, 36, go-go dancer from Japan

Alan, 29, IT company employee from Brazil

Ikuo, 22, food service industry worker from Japan

The commentators
Megumi, 42, actress and TV talent
Chiaki Horan, 35, news caster and TV talent
Thelma Aoyama, 36, singer
Yoshimi Tokui, 49, comedian and TV talent
Durian Lollobrigida, 39, drag queen, singer, actor
Entertainment promotes diversity
The Boyfriend doesn’t explicitly advocate for LGBTQ rights. Executive producer Dai Ota said that cast members were free to speak about the social changes of being gay or bisexual in Japan. However, the show doesn’t act as a space for “overt political or social commentary.”
Although cast members do discuss LGBTQ on a broad social scale, they talk about self-acceptance and finding gay partners. Some confess that they haven’t come out to their family.
Still, Japanese LGBTQ advocates say the show holds significant meaning without tackling issues head-on.
Unfriendly attitudes prevail

In Japan, 87% believe sexual diversity should be honored. Additionally. more than 84% say they would accept friends and colleagues who come out as LGBTQ.
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However, workplace discrimination against sexual minorities is prevalent. Same-sex couples do not have equal access to maternity care or other benefits reserved for married heterosexual couples. Courts have denied transgender parents legal guardianship of their biological children.
Host Lollobrigida, a local hero for Tokyo’s gay community, told reporters that he joined The Boyfriend “to protect” cast members by acting as a “translator” between gay and heterosexual audiences.
Since streaming began, the show has already received negative comments on social media. Such reactions are what make The Boyfriend so necessary, Lollobrigida says.
“I will sincerely accept all opinions that are not malicious or hateful. First, I want people to watch it. Once you watch it, you’ll understand that, oh, gays and bisexuals are not different from us at all, I think,” Lollobrigida told Business Insider Japan.
Still, The Boyfriend comes as Japan is making slow progress in recognizing LGBTQ rights. For the first time in June this year, a gay couple won a common law marriage designation in local court. And Japanese courts are recognizing transgender rights after Japan’s Supreme Court last year ruled the law that required gender reassignment surgery before officially changing one’s gender unconstitutional.
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